Today started well, I received my final results that determined my photography degree classification. The marks were significantly lower that for the other module but still high enough to mean I’d receive a first class degree. So that part of my photographic journey is over save for the rite of passage of the degree ceremony.
However as often seems the case, when something goes well the cosmos appears to conspire against me to ensure I remember my mortality, as so last night I bled. I take Warfarin – a blood thinner as I have a artificial aortic heart valve following a couple of heart attacks in 2002. I monitor my blood closely but some of the things I have to do to manage my impairment means that I can bleed.
And so it was that yesterday began well and ended badly. There is nothing I can do about the bleeding – I just have to live with the risk that one day I won’t stop and that will be the end. The strange thing is that when I bleed I almost want it to be the end as then the struggle is over. But then as I write this I think the opposite – as life is precious and better than the nothingness that awaits its end.