Yesterday’s big bleed really got to me. I’ve tried for years to develop coping strategies for when things go wrong and one of these is about living in the moment.
Most of us don’t know what the future holds. We make plans the best we can while knowing we could be struck down by a an accident, disease or other misfortune. Yet we cope and put such thoughts to the back of our minds and plan and develop. My problem seems to be that I am made much more aware of the frailty of the human condition through my experiences. So when I make or execute plans and feel good, often fate steps in and issues me with a reminder that all life is transient. This creates an urge in me to take control and end it – that way the uncertainty of life and constant reminders of its precariousness would be removed. The problem with such a strategy is that it would replace life with nothingness.
Physical feelings and perceptual emotion are all there is, and so I will take them in whatever form offered however meagre and painful that may be. But it is hard trying to live happily with such pressures. It is with these thoughts in mind that I created this image.
I did consider spoiling the image with some spatters of red in a small area to signify the cause of my anxiety. However everyone suffers the pressures of their own and so I left it like this so it could speak to them about how they feel as much as it represents my own situation.
anomiepete 
It is hard to comment on your words, or your images these days Pete. Everything I try to write sounds dull. But I just wanted to tell you that I am looking at these images, I am reading your words and they are important to me.
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Thanks Stephanie, that is good to know 🙂
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I find the triptych intriguing but somehow its context has deepen by the input of your words.
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Thanks Yian. I know we all get a lot out of photography. I find creating images like this helps me work though challenges – both the activity itself can be distracting and help change a mood and it sort of externalises the problem. I was pleased with the image as it represented to me hope in the small streak of light while recognising that we all fade away at some point.
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Makes me think of Sugimoto’s ‘Revolution’ series, which some of us saw in Arles last year (which was in turn reminiscent of Rothko). I imagine these as monumental prints in a quiet, darkened room, with very careful lighting – a place for meditation. I cannot imagine your own feelings, Pete, but I think I can see how making these might have helped.
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Thanks Stan. I’d not seen this particular series of Sugimoto’s work so thanks for the reference – I just know (and like) his seascapes.
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