I should be at dad’s today but can’t face him. Or not so much him as his behaviour. I know it’s a call for help and the appointment with the care service is going ahead and then the lady is coming to meet me at home so we can finalise arrangements. I just hope this will relieve some of the pressure on me by deflecting his expressions of sadness and worries onto others. I know that sounds tough but that’s the reality. Everything is out of kilter right now and I’ve got to get things manageable.
Update: the care package is in place for and begins on Monday. I feel different – better – already, but also that I am failing dad. But how can you solve the problem of bereavement? My approach is to occupy his time, but he seems not to want to do things.