Phone: Hello, is that Mr Mansell?
Me: speaking
Phone: It’s Sister xxxx here for Kings. I’m afraid I have some bad news.
Me: What’s the problem?
Phone: The consultant anaesthetist has looked at your pre-admission data and wants some further tests carried out before you can have your planned operation, so I am afraid we have had to cancel your operation scheduled for next Thursday.
Me: Oh no. Why?
Phone: Well your ECG and other data showed up some issues that the anaesthetist wants looked at by the cardiology team before any operation is carried out. He knows your bleeding badly but believes this is more important just now. So I have contacted your GP and asked him to refer you to the cardiology team as a matter of urgency.
Me: okay. [Thinking: SHIT, SHIT, SHIT…]
So I’ve retreated to my office and been wandering around the internet when I found myself landing on a post on the Aparrelized forum where a member was discussing suicide. One sentence really resonated with me. Cripplezilla said: “I fantasize of dying in my sleep”. As I thought about the words and how they appealed to me just now [Imagine, I would just go to bed tonight and not wake up tomorrow….] but I then thought about my MA and the final products. This got me thinking about formats and I ended up making a little image of the sentence in different typefaces. 
These different typefaces work in very similar ways to photos in that the shapes evoke different senses. For example while the Calibri typeface presents itself as straightforward, simple and objective the (Prestige Elite std) typeface seems to be to present itself in a similar way, but offers a sort of old school sense because it reminds me of the older more simple printers (not quite dot matrix but that sort of thing) Then again Times New Roman seems much more flowery and fancy compared to the previous fonts.
I should use a font that is very clear and smooth. It should not be fancy or over stylised. My two favourite fonts are Calibri and Myriad Pro as they make reading easy and offer a clean simple typeface.
anomiepete 
Thinking of you Pete, I am not always commenting but reading both your artistic experiments and personal thoughts everyday. Take care!
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That must be such a setback Pete. I remember Jeff having his pre-admission assessment for an operation and being told something similar. It’s such a blow and Showcard Gothic evokes that feeling for me – although not that thought, because my thoughts were focussed elsewhere.
You’re choosing Calibri and Myriad Pro because of their clarity and I’m wondering what words you would be putting to them now you’ve done the experiment.
That’s such a good strategy to focus on something positive to achieve. Like Stephanie, I’m thinking of you.
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Thanks Catherine. It’s another day now so I’ve put that behind me for at least today. The sun is out and we will find somewhere to go.
I’m thinking about fonts in regard of creating a photobook as part of the MA exhibition.
Bye the way – have a great birthday!
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My son is always ‘ use Times’ ! I like Corsiva for this statement. I am desperate not to die and so I understand this comment not from the idea of suicide but from the idea that eventually we will all die. I believe it is something we all cling to, that somehow we will just fade away without any extra pain. Anyway, never mind about the MA, you have the reuniting of [( 6 )] to hang around for… 🙂
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Hi Pete
It has taken me a while to respond to this but your voicing of thoughts and contemplation of suicide via your Blog has had great impact and preoccupied me over some time.
I was unable to separate this from your investigation of typeface.
Which is the point I guess, so it works really well.
The repetition of the message is especially powerful in the different fonts.
There is support available when these thoughts arise.
The Samaritans are available by email as well as phone
jo@samaritans.org
Though phone is best for an immediate response.
116 123
24 hours a day
365 days a year
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Don’t let it play on your mind Rhi. I wasn’t contemplating suicide – just the thought of going to sleep and not waking up. But anyway that was then and this is now, and I just paid to see a cardiologist and he has give me the all clear for the operation. So it’s now back to the surgeon to chase for a slot. 🙂
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