Apparently the physical ailments I am suffering from just now are due to stress and so with this in mind I had a long chat with dad and arranged to see Steve, my brother, today to discuss how to make things better. Dad wants to stay living in his own home and so rather than my taking on responsibility to meet all his needs (which has been the case since mum died) I have arranged to meet a care firm with dad next Wednesday at his home to arrange for them to take on a lot of the work.
This action only came about because of my being ill and my realisation that I have, in effect tried to fill the gap left by mum. This is, of course impossible and Steve and I now realise this. I am not sure if dad does though.