Well, I’ve only bled once since the operation on April 24th (and I know why that happened). So is my bleeding over? The thought gave me an idea for a project: instead of photographing real blood and shit I’d create a physical simulacrum of it. So, in a way, putting a little distance between me and the actual experience.
I don’t like this final result, but the idea has potential. The materials – paint, and incontinence sheet are fine but I used the wrong colours really – black and red and they are too removed from the reality of blood and shit to even hint at being a simulacrum of them. The form is also wrong as the blood should either dominate the centre or the periphery with the shit offering the reverse. This isn’t the case here. The fault lay in the process I adopted as it was too haphazard. I folded the sheet with the paint on it and then ran a roller over it. The result was a mess without any natural form.
I think the idea had legs though. The approach is different from the project on blood because those images were of my real blood. This is more like a mediated reflection and the end product will not be a digital image but rather a physical object.
So while I see this product as a very poor outcome I think its clarified a direction of travel.